The healthiest, most functional families have two parents fully engaged in the lives and well-being of each individual and the family as a whole. One parent usually keeps track of the home…how organized and clean it is kept…and the health and well-being of the family: feeding them; keeping them suitably clothed; making sure they are doing well in life, work, and school. The other parent often keeps track of the finances…brings money into the family, invests it, and makes plans for the future…and keeps watch that the home is safely protected. Both parents pass along to the children the skills and knowledge they will need to succeed.
What would happen if the father told the kids, “Your mother is deranged; she sleeps around and gives away your food to strangers. I’m not giving her any more money for groceries. She’s crazy. She’s not like the rest of us. You are not safe with her. We would be better off without her.”
What if the mother said behind their father’s back, “Your father is only in it for himself. You watch; as soon as he saves up enough, he’s going to leave us. He doesn’t love you; he despises children and says you’re a drain…a weight around his neck. He’s probably got some woman on the side because he doesn’t love me, either.”
When the children hear this enough, they don’t know who to trust; they go inward and feel bad about themselves. They act out or get involved in things that provide some sense of control or predictability in their lives like a clandestine group, a street gang, drugs, alcohol, guns, or suicide.
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America has a two-parent, legislative government which allows for our Congress to act like the two parents of a healthy, functional country. One ‘parent,’ or party tends to keep track of the health, education, and well-being of the American people and the health of the home they live in; the other keeps track of the growth, safety, and financial health of the country and how well it is getting along with its neighbors.
Both governing parents…both entities are necessary. For one parent to tear down the other is damaging to their relationship as well as their dependents; it is a waste of time and energy and a distraction from the real challenges the family faces from outside the home. Tearing down each other Makes No Sense.
I am grateful for our 2-party system of government. I want to be able to count on one side to keep a watch on our future and our financial growth…to keep our economy strong. I look to them to keep a watchful eye on our neighbors and to keep us safe. I look to the other side to keep watch on how well the American people, especially the children, are cared for, taught, and prepared for the future. I depend on this side to keep watch on the health of our land, air, and water. I expect one side to keep their fingers on the pulse of business; the other to keep a tending eye on the disadvantaged and the weak. Both are necessary. All of it matters.
There is no reason…and no room…for the two parents of any family to discredit or attempt to destroy each other; that’s stupid. Any single parent will tell you: no one person can do it well, alone. The whole family suffers if one parent dies, leaves, or does not contribute. The scope of life is too big; the responsibilities must be shared.
So, you two, stop tearing each other down, come to the table, and talk; there’s work to be done.
(I borrowed the photo at the top from the Rand Corporation; I hope they will allow me to use it. It was the best depiction of what I am trying to convey available.)
Today's Teachable Moment 